Insanity
by Percabeth4olymp
Summary: Dean isn't quite sane after his sister died in front of him. He than finds Cas and thinks he is getting better only to soon realize he's getting worse. Note: This is to be taken as a Destiel Fanfic!


Dean ran his hand through his hair. He looked down at the unconscious body at his feet. He picked up the little girls body. "No," he cried, "No, no, no, no," he said as he shook Sabrina trying to wake her up.

Sabrina was his little sister. Dean loved her but Sam just didn't. Sam hated being the middle child. Dean always told him it wasn't that bad, but Sam would always ignore him.

"Sabrina," Dean cried as rain started to fall gently from the sky. Her breathing started to slow until there was no more breath to give.

A tear fell down Dean's cheek.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Dean, why don't you tell me what you think of these pictures?" Deans therapist, Bill, said as he held up black spots on paper.

Dean held his knees up to his chin. "Black spots," he said.

Bill smiled, "Try using imagination," he said.

Dean frowned, "A dragon?" he said shrugging his shoulders.

"And this one?" Bill asked scribbling down some notes and holding up another picture.

"A feild of flowers with a dead girl in the middle," Dean said flinching slightly.

Bill nodded and asked Dean a couple of more questions.

"What are your thoughts about death?" he asked.

"I think that it's not that bad once you know where you are in the world," Dean said.

"Like?" Bill questioned.

"Like if you knew what you were before you died it would be eaiser to accept your death," Dean said.

Bill furrowed his brow, "Ok," he said moving on, "What about your sister?" he asked.

Dean clenched his fist. It had been a full two years sense she had died.

"How are you handling her death?" he added.

"I think young people shouldn't go so quickly," Dean mumbled looking out the window. When he did this he felt like he was on top of the Empire State Building, looking down over New York.

Bill nodded. "Dean, tomorrow I am going to bring my son ok?" he asked figuring if Dean could make a few friends he would forget about Sabrina.

Dean nodded but kept his eyes looking out the window.

"Dean is everything ok?" Bill asked.

"This is a waste of money," Dean mumbled.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because, it's obvious I'm never going to get better," Dean said raising his voice a little.

"Anyone can heal. Healing just takes time," Bill said.

"Well some people just don't heal," Dean said as he stood up and walked over to the window.

"Do you like the view?" Bill asked walking over to stand with him.

Dean shrugged, "It makes me feel like no one can bother me up here. Call me a freak or a weirdo." Dean admitted.

"Are you bullied a lot?" Bill asked.

Dean looked down at his feet and nodded.

Bill walked over back to his seat and Dean did the same.

"Have you told anyone?" Bill questioned.

"I told my dad but he doesn't give a shit," Dean said.

"Dean, I'm sure he does," Bill said with a smile.

"Ya, ok," Dean said sarcastically.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Dean walked into the small office that he was in the day before.

"Hi Dean, this is my son Castiel," Bill said with a wide smile as he introduced them.

Castiel looked anti-social. He wore a blue and black striped sweater, blue jeans, and a light tan trench coat. His hair was black and messy, his eyes were blue, and he wore glasses. He pulled off the whole look though.

"Hi," Castiel said akwardly.

"Hi," Dean responded as he sat down in his normal seat. Castiel decided to sit on the floor even though there were two seats open.

"Me making 'friends' isn't going to help," Dean said looking out the window.

"How would you know?" Bill asked.

"Because I know myself better than you do. Besides we all know this is mainly for him," Dean said pointing a finger at Castiel.

Castiel didn't look offened. He looked rather intrested in Dean.

"I'm hoping I can solve both your problems," Bill said.

"Good luck with that," Cas mumbled as he stood up to go get coffee out of the machine in the cornor of the room.

Dean smirked at his comment.

"I want you two to talk, find things that you both like."Bill said, "I will come back in twenty minutes," he said looking at his watch and walking out the door.

"There's probably cameras in here," Dean muttered.

Cas shrugged as he went to go sit down on the floor again.

"Why do you sit on the floor?" Dean asked.

"I don't know," Cas admitted as he scooted closer to the window. He also liked looking out of it.

"Are you bullied too?" Dean asked. He felt kind of bad for it but was curious.

Cas nodded.

"Why?" He asked.

"For many reasons," Cas said, "Are you?" He felt stupid asking the question because Dean had said _too_.

Dean nodded. "Ya but for mainly only two reasons," he said.

"Can I ask what they are?" Cas asked, not taking his eyes off of the people outside the window.

Dean bit his lip, "Will you tell your dad?" he whispered as he neared Cas, not wanting a camera to hear his reasons if there were any.

"Not if you don't want me to," Cas said.

Dean bit his lip, "Well one because I'm socially akward, and two becuase," he paused. He didn't trust Cas. "Nevermind," he said shaking his head.

"Please tell me," Cas begged as he looked over Dean.

"No, I rather not. No one knows except me and I'd like to keep it that way," Dean said bringing his knees to his chest. He did this whenever he felt the need for someone to be there for him. Someone to help him through things that he was going through. Not like a therapist but more like a friend.

Cas frowned, "Ok," he said not wanting to push Dean any further.

Dean smiled and watched the clock tick. After about five minutes of silence Bill walked back in.

"So?" he asked with a warm smile.

Dean kept his eyes on the clock. Memories flooding through his brain. Drowning him in sadness and dispair.

He covered his ears as he heard the scream of his sister. He kept his knees to his chin and rolled over on the couch not noticing what he was doing.

"Dean, Dean, are you ok?" Bill said rushing over to Dean shaking him gently.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Dean woke up in a hospital bed. "Are you ok?" John asked when he came to.

Dean closed his eyes and nodded.

"What happened?" he asked.

Dean shrugged and brought his knees up to his chest like he always does.

John frowned.

"Can I go home?" Dean asked quietly.

"In a couple of hours," John said, "The doctors have to run some tests."

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

The doctors did run the test and, as it turned out, Dean was insane.

He was mentally ill from traumatizing sights when he was little. His sister being murded was only one of two.

He still went home though. They said if he carried on through a normal process he would have to go to an asylum.

Dean sat in the car as his dad drove him to his normal appoitment to Bill's office.

"Dean," John started,"Do you want me to come in this time?" He asked.

Dean shook his head, "No," he mumbled quietly.

They pulled up to the front of the building and Dean got out of the car walking through the front doors. He told the lady at the desk his name than went to the very top floor.

"Hi Dean, how are you feeling?" Bill asked as Dean walked into the office. Cas was sitting on a chair this time.

Dean shrugged, "Ok I guess," he said sitting down.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Bill asked.

Dean shook his head.

Bill shrugged. He took out a small notpad and handed it to Dean. He also gave him a pencil.

"I want you to write a letter to an imaginary person. I want you to describe what your life is like and if you think it will change and how it will change if it does." Bill said.

"Will you read it?" Dean asked.

"Only if you want me to, if you don't trust me Castiel will read it. You have to pick one," Bill answered.

Dean considered this and decided Cas will be the one to read it. He started writing.

_Dear imaginary person,_

_Personally my life sucks. I much rather be dead but I don't want to die. I want people to not judge me. That's all people do. They judge. They don't even get the chance to know you. They look you up and down and decide if you're cool or not. They don't ask why you're gay they just judge you for being it. I don't think I am ever going to change the way I am. I don't think I can. I think no one can really, truely change who they are. I just think we alter it a little. Making small adjustments that mean a lot to one person, but little to you. I think I will never change._

_-Dean_

Dean put down his pencil and reread the paper. He shyly handed it to Cas.

"Dean will you let me read it?" Bill asked.

Dean thought for a moment. "I guess," he said.

When Cas was done reading it he handed it over to his dad. Bill read it.

"I never was really good at finishing off paragraphs," Dean said pulling his knees up to his chest.

"Do you enjoy writing?" Bill asked as he tucked the notepad away.

Dean shrugged, "Sometimes," he said looking around the room.

"Well, like yesterday, I will leave you two alone to talk. This time you will only have ten minutes though," Bill said leaving the room.

"So you're gay?" Cas asked looking down at his feet.

"Ya," Dean said quietly.

"Me too," Cas said biting his lip, "Is that what you wouldn't tell me yesterday?" he asked looking up to stare into Deans green eyes.

Dean nodded. "Does your dad know?" He asked.

Cas shook his head. "No, I thought of telling him but I'm scared he will freak out."

"That's why my dad doesn't know either," Dean said not breaking his gaze from Cas'.

Dean smirked, "Has anyone ever told you you have beautiful eyes?" he asked.

Cas blushed, "You'd be the first," he said.

Dean's smirk turned into a grin. "I don't know why the world hasn't said it to you," Dean said while laughing a little. This was the first time he had laughed in a long time.

"Probably because the world doesn't know me," Cas said.

"Their loss," Dean said.

Dean had only met him yesterday and yet he feeled like he knew him for a year.

Cas shrugged and he went to go get some coffee. They only had five minutes left togther.

"I might go to an asylum," Dean said trying to start a conversation.

"Why?" Cas asked as he carried his coffee back to the chair he was sitting in.

"Because I'm crazy," Dean said with a smirk.

"Dean, that's not funny. You're the closest thing I have to a friend at this moment," Cas said while laughing a little.

"Oh so now I'm a thing?" Dean said with a laugh.

"You know what I meant," Cas said smiling.

"You should smile more often," Dean complimented him.

"So should you," Cas replied.

It got quiet after that. Both of them still held smirks on their face and they looked into each others eyes. They both knew they were falling for each other.

Bill walked into the room. "So?" he asked happy to see that both of the boys were smiling.

They both looked away from each other.

"What did you two talk about? You seem happy." Bill commented.

"Not much," Dean said casually.

Bill nodded.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Cas and Dean's realtionship has grown a lat over the past month. When ever they could they would always sneak small kisses. Dean was growing better also. He rarely thought of his sister and when he did it was always good memories.

Cas knocked on Dean's door. "Dad I'm going to lunch with Cas," Dean yelled while walking out the door.

Dean slid into Cas' car. It was a black hummer. Dean wasn't a fan of hummers though. His dream car was his dad's 67' Impala.

Cas pulled up into the parking lot of the burger joint. He looked over to Dean and smiled. Dean smiled back.

They leaned in for a quick kiss than got out of the car and walked in. They slid into a booth and told the waitress what they wanted.

"I kinda miss your usual appoitments," Cas said. Sense Dean had been getting better he only had to go two times a week rather than six.

Dean smiled. "If you think about it though it means I won't go away," he said smiling.

Cas shrugged, "Ya that's true," he said, "Can I ask what happened to your sister?" Cas asked.

Dean's smile left his face. Wiped away completly. "She," he paused the images flashing through his mind. He wasn't taking it as bad as last time but he rather not have them in his head. He put his elbows on the table and held his head trying to get the memories out.

"Dean?" Cas asked, "Are you okay?"

Dean nodded but he kept quiet. Cas wished he never asked.

"I'm sorry Dean," he said reaching for Dean's hand which was now on the table.

Dean pulled away. "Cas, I can't become attached to another person," he said looking away so he couldn't see the pain in Cas' eyes.

"Dean," Cas started.

"Please take me home," he said putting his head back in his hands.

Cas frowned than nodded. "Ok," he said quietly.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Dean sat with his head in his pillow. Images of his sisters death flashing through his head.

John knocked on his open door while he walked in, "Is everything all right?" he asked.

He started to worry when Dean didnt answer. Dean was now sitting up huddled into the cornor of his bed mumbling his sisters name with his knees to his chest.

"Dean, Dean," John said shaking him. "Sammy, go get the car ready," he yelled through the house as he picked up Dean and ran down to meet Sam in the car.

He slid Dean into the passanger seat who was still mumbling Sabrina's name and his knees were still at his chest.

John rushed to the hospital.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

"I'm sorry sir from what the doctor says he'll have to go to the asylum," the nurse said to John.

"Please anything but that," John begged.

"I'm sorry, hes beyond repair. He will be sent later on today," the nurse said with a sad smile.

John held his head in his hands. Cas walked through the door.

"Is he ok?" he asked John.

John shook his head. "He's going to the asylum later," John muttered.

Cas frowned. "Oh," he said quietly.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Dean sat down in the cold metal chair. There were other people around but he didn't pay attetion to them. He only paid attetion to Sabrina.

"Hello Dean," Sabrina said with a large smile as she happily skipped up to Dean.

Sabrina, of course, wans't there. Dean's mind was making it all up. Well not all of it only Sabrina.

Dean smiled. He hugged her. No one else in the Asylum looked at him weirdly though. Most of them actually suffered from the same thing.

Dean continued to happily chat with Sabrina until a nurse snapped him out of his daze.

"It's time to take your medicine," she said handing Dean a small container with two pills in it and a cup of water.

Dean swallowed the pills and the water. "How are you feeling?" The lady asked with a warm smile.

Dean looked up at her. He had picked his favorite table. It was on the second floor and it was in a corner. There was also a window.

Dean shrugged.

"Dean, you do know if you get better you can go home right?" The lady questioned.

Dean shrugged again.

"Can you talk?" She asked.

Dean nodded but decided not to say anything.

"Well one of your friends named Castiel called a little bit earlier he said he would be here soon to talk," The nurse said.

Dean rolled his eyes but the nurse didn't see.

"Do you want to follow me?" She asked.

Knowing Dean didn't have much of a choice he did.

They walked down the small flight of stairs and the nurse led him into a small room where Cas was sitting.

"Hi Dean," he said akwardly.

Dean glared at him.

Cas bit his lip, "Are you feeling okay?" Cas asked.

Dean shrugged.

"Come on Dean we both know you can talk so do it," Cas said.

Dean shook his head.

"Can I talk to him alone please?" Cas asked the nurse. She nodded and walked out of the room.

"Dean please talk, I miss you," Cas said with a tear falling down his cheek.

Dean looked up at him, "What do you want?" he asked. He didn't ask it in a mean way though.

"Dean, please get better, for me," Cas begged.

"Cas, I said I can't get attached to something," he said.

"Dean," Cas was now crying, "Please."

Dean couldn't bear to see him like this, "Stop crying," he said.

"I can't Dean, I'm a mess," he said burrying his head into the palms of his hand.

Dean frowned. "I don't think I can," Dean said looking at the door.

"There's always a way," Cas mumbled.

"Not when there's no hope," Dean said.

"Please don't say that, you have to try," Cas begged.

"Cas how many times do I have to tell you I can't get attached to something," Dean yelled.

"You can say it all you want, I will still try," Cas mumbled quietly.

Dean smiled for a second than quickly wiped it away.

"Stop it Cas," Dean yelled.

Cas glared at him, "Fine," he said sniffling as he got up and walked out of the room.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

It has been two weeks since anyone has visited Dean. He wasn't getting better but he wasn't getting worse. Occasionally other people would come and try to talk to him but ha mainly just sat in his cornor talking to no one.

The same nurse who gave him his medicine when Cas was here came to give him his medicine today. This was the first time he has seen her since.

"Hi Dean," She said as she sat down across from him.

"Hi," he mumbled tapping his fingers unrythmically against the table.

"How are you?" she asked sliding Deans pills towards him.

He shruged, "I'm ok," he said looking out the window.

"That's good, do you feel any better?" She asked.

"I feel the same," Dean mumbled.

Usally this nurse didn't stop to talk to people but with Dean she was intrested in him. Not like boyfriend intrested. She though he was intresting. Something was different about him then the rest of the people.

"Dean do you know why I always talk to you when I come see you?" She asked.

Dean shook his head.

"Because you're intresting," she said.

Dean didn't know why she was telling him this, "Ok," he said.

"Dean, I know more about you than you think," she said.

Dean perked up a little, "Like what?" he asked.

"Like you're gay, you like Castiel, your family history. I catch on to things quicker than others," she said.

"I don't like Cas," Dean mumbled.

"We both know you do. The way you look at him says it all. Dean, I tend to know people better then they know themselves," she said.

"Well I don't want to like him. He'll just put me back here when I get out. _If_ I get out," Dean said.

"I belive you will. And we both know you do want to like him. You just have a hard time expressing yourself," She smiled.

"I mean I just don't want to get hurt again," Dean admitted.

"I see your point but isn't that what life's about? Taking risks?" She asked.

Dean smiled, "You should become a therapist."

"I like to work here," she said looking around her.

"Why?" Dean asked.

"Becasue it reminds me of reality. I was once in an asylum before," she said.

"You, in an asylum," Dean said shocked.

She nodded, "Ya, but that's what helped me read people. People who are insane can be hard to understand because their true emotions are hid by their, well, craziness," she said with a small laugh.

Dean smiled.

"But you, you're not like the rest. You're a little bit harder to read, but your not crazy, well not that crazy. I don't think you should be in here. I think one day you'll live a peachy life," she said.

Dean smirked, "But being crazy is hard to overcome," he said.

"Then I will come talk to you everyday. So you won't go insane talking to yourself."

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Cas came to visit today. Dean was happy for this.

"Hey Cas," he said as he sat down in a chair acros from him.

"Hi Dean," he said akwardly.

Jane, the nurse, stood behind Dean.

Dean turned around to face her. She nodded telling him to tell Cas something.

"Well, first off, I'm sorry," Dean said.

Cas smiled, "It's ok."

"And second, I'm probably getting out of here soon," He said.

Jane and Cas both smiled.

"Really? Dean that's great!" Cas said excited.

"How's my dad?" Dean asked.

Cas bit his lip, "He's kind of an alcoholic now," Cas said.

Dean flinched, "Oh," he said, "And Sam?"

"I don't know about Sam, I haven't seen him in a while, last time I did though he was pretty shaken up," Cas said.

Dean frowned.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

About a month later Dean was let out, "Come visit me Winchester," Jane said with a smile as she waved him goodbye.

"I will," Dean replied as he walked out the front doors.

Cas was waiting for him in his hummer.

"Hey can you take me to my dads house. I promise we can hang out tomorrow," Dean asked.

Cas nodded and drove there. "Bye Dean," Cas said pressing his lips against Dean's for a couple of seconds.

Dean hopped out of the hummer and went to go knock on the door.

Sam was the one who answered it, "Dean?" He whispered in shock as he closed the door and stepped outside, "I'm so happy you're here," Sam said hugging Dean, "It's been hell without you," he added.

Dean smiled. Sam stepped away and streched to reveal a bruise on the side of his stomach.

"Whoa Sam waht happened?" Dean asked as he bent down to inspect it.

"Nothing," Sam said quickly as he pulled away.

"Sam, that's something. Did dad do that to you," he asked his voice rising.

Sam looked down and nodded. Dean threw his book bag on the ground outside and marched inside.

"Where the hell is he?" Dean asked angrily.

"In his room," Sam said after a moment of hesitation.

Dean stormed up to his room and but open the door, waking his dad from a deep slumber.

"What the hell dad? I'm gone for three months and you decide to take all your anger out on Sammy? That's seariously fucked up," He yelled.

John sat up, "Dean?" he asked amazed.

"Ya, it's fucking me, why the fuck did you even lay one finger on Sam?" Dean yelled.

John clenched his fist, he was going to say something but Dean walked out of the room before he could. He took Sam by the arm and walked out of the house grabbing his bookbag before he started to walk away from his house.

"Sam why didn't you come visit me?" Dean asked.

"Because I knew you would react this way," he said.

"So, better then getting your ass beat by him," Dean said as he pulled out his phone and called Cas.

Moments later Cas was there to pick them up.

"What's wrong?" Cas asked as they climed into the car.

"My dad, he abused Sam while I was gone," Dean mumbled.

"You're making it sound like it was on purpose," Sam hissed from the back seat.

"Oh so what then? He just punched you and said 'Opps I'm sorry, here let me do it again'?" Dean yelled.

"Stop yelling," Cas said.

They both shut up.

"Thank you, now where am I taking you?" Cas asked.

Dean cursed. He hadn't thought of that. "Back to the asylum," he mumbled.

"Dean what? You just got out-" Cas started.

"Did I fucking stutter Cas?" Dean yelled.

Cas gripped the steering wheel.

Moments later they were back at the asylum.

Dean walked in soon followed by Sam than Cas.

"Hi can I talk to Jane?" He asked the lady at the front desk.

The lady looked him up and down than nodded. She told them to take a seat and they did as told.

"I knew you couldn't stay away Winchester," Jane said with a wide grin.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Sam asked.

Dean shook his head.

"Hey I know this is kind of weird to ask but can me and Sam stay at your house for a little while?" Dean asked.

"I can't say no to a sleepover," she said with a laugh.\

Dean smiled. "Thanks, I'll pay you for everything."

"Nope, no charge. My shift is almost over, I'll take you two home in about five or ten minutes," She said as she left the room.

"Dude, she's hot," Sam said. Dean couldn't disagree. He felt weird. He could also feel Cas' jealously.

"Well I'm going to go," he said akwardly.

"Wait Cas," Dean said. Cas turned around and Dean kissed him on the lips.

"Gross you're gay?" Sam asked as Cas left.

"Bi," Dean corrected.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Sam was now asleep. "Sorry for making you sleep on the couch," Jane said as she tossed Dean a blanket and sat next to him. She looked hot. She was wearing girly boxers and a t-shirt that was cut in between the breasts and stopped midway up her stomach. Her brown straight hair was splited in two parts both the parts laying on either shoulder.

Dean swallowed. "Umm, ya it's ok," he said.

Jane laughed. "I like you too but I don't want to make Cas mad."

Dean smiled. "He doesn't have to find out does he?" Dean asked.

"Dean, please, I really don't want to turn you into a bad person," She said.

"Should've thought that before you put those clothes on," he said looking her up and down.

"Fine then, I'll go change," She said as she started to get up.

Dean pulled her back down. He pinned her to the couch and smiled. She was smiling too.

"I don't think that would be necessary," he said as he leaned down to kiss her.

She didn't resist.

They both were in the midst of taking each others clothes off when someone rang the doorbell.

"Shit," Jane said as she quickly pulled her shirt on. "Act like you're sleeping," she said to Dean.

Jane opened the door. "Hey sorry I'm here at a late hour but we ahdn't hung out in a whil-" she trailed off as she looked over at the "sleeping" Dean.

"Is this a bad timing?" she asked.

Dean sat up and pretended to yawn and stretch, "Not at all," he said with a wide grin.

Thankfully he only had his shirt off.

Janes friend was looking him up and down. Studying his abs and his perfect body.

"Oh my god did you bang him?" She whispered into Janes ear. Dean could still hear her.

He walked over to both of them and put his arm around Jane. "Not yet," he said grinning.

"Dean stop it," She said pushing him away. Her friend looked shocked, "Cas is going to be pissed," She said.

"Cas doesn't have to find out," he said pulling her close.

"Since when do you have a boyfriend," Janes friend asked Jane.

"Ugh I don't," she said.

"So who is Cas?" Janes friend asked.

"His boyfriend," Jane said pointing to Dean instantly wishing she hadn't.

Janes friends mouth hung open. Dean couldn't help but smile.

"Trish as you can tell now's not a good time," Jane said.

"I think it's the perfect time," Dean said.

"Dean, I mean it. Stop," she said.

"You know you can't say no to me," Dean laughed as he put his arms around her waist.

She cursed. It was true.

"Should I go?" Trish asked.

Jane said "Yes," but Dean said "No."

Trish looked confused.

"Dean this is my house," Jane said turning around trying to break free of his grip.

Dean let go and held his arms up, "True, but let the girl stay," he said.

Jane glared at him. "Oh come on you know you like me," Dean said playfully poking her in her ribs.

Jane couldn't help but smile. "Dean why do you have to be so charming?" She asked fustrated.

"It's a gift," he said with a smile.

Trish still just stood there.

"Dean really though, you don't want to make Cas upset do you?" She asked.

Dean thought this over and placed his arms around her waist again. "No, but he won't have to know," Dean said.

Little did Dean know Sam was listening to all of this.

Jane turned around in his arms and finally gave in, "Fine Dean," she said.

Dean smiled and gently kissed her on her lips. Remembering about Trish they both pulled away.

"So Trish want to watch a movie?" Dean asked with a smirk.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Sam eyed his phone by his bed. It was morning and he knew Dean was still asleep. He figured he could eaisly get stuff from him with the information he knew.

Sam walked downstairs to find Dean and Jane sleeping on the couch togther and Trishon the floor.

Sam walked over to Dean and shook him to wake him up, "Have fun last night?" Sam asked with a smirk.

Dean's eyes widened. "Sam how,"

"I could eaisly get stuff out of this but I decided I'm going to be the mean little brother that I am," he said with a smile.

Dean instantly got up making Jane wake up.

"You wouldn't," Dean said.

"I would."

"Sam, please don't I'm begging you." Sam pulled out his phone.

"What's going on?" Jane asked with wide eyes.

"Sam's threatning to tell Cas," Dean said.

Sam smiled, "I already did," he said as he tossed Dean the phone.

Sure enough there was a sent text.

_Just to let you know Cas, Dean is sleeping with Jane._

Thats all Sam had to text to ruin them.

"Sam what the hell did I ever do to you?" Dean yelled. Now Trish was awake.

"You left me all alone with dad," Sam yelled.

"You really think I had a choice?" Dean pratically screamed, "I was sent there I couldn't chose!"

"Well from what Cas said you refused to get better," Sam yelled, "It's not _my_ fault you wanted to stay insane."

Trish was finally catching on.

Dean scrunched his nose. "I hope you die," he said to Sam.

"Why don't I do it in front of you so you can go back to the asylum, you seem to like it there," he spat.

Dean lunged on top of him. Pinning him to the ground. "You little bitch," he yelled.

Jane and Trish pulled him off of Sam. "Stop it!" Jane yelled.

"Dean this _is _all your fault. You persuaded me," Jane said.

Sam smirked.

"Oh look Cas just texted," Sam said, "He's on his way over," he said smiling.

Dean glared at him, "I fucking hate you,"

"You reap just what you sow," Sam said.

The doorbell rang.

"That must be him," Sam said.

Dean was tempted to smash his fist into Sam's skull.

He went over to the door. "Hi Cas," he said as he answered it.

"What the fuck Dean?" Cas yelled shoving Dean backwards.

"I'm so sorry," Dean said.

Cas clenched his fist and punched the door. There was now a hole in it.

"Cas I'm so sorry," Dean said begging for forgiveness.

"Fuck you," Cas yelled.

Dean knew he fucked up now.

"What the fuck dude?" Jane asked looking at her door.

"I was wondering the same," Cas said.

"Cas," Dean started.

"No Dean, you fucked up," Cas said.

Cas started walking out the doorway.

"Cas please," Dean begged.

Cas turned around, "Just remember this is all your fault," Cas said pointing a finger at Dean and walking to his car.

Dean colapsed to the ground. "I told you Dean," Jane said.

Dean couldn't hear her. All he could hear was Cas' voice inside his head.

His knees were to his chest.

Jane cursed. "Don't do this Dean," she said.

Dean couldn't hear her. She cursed.

"Thanks a fucking lot Sam," Jane said. "Trish carry him to the car I'm going to get dressed into something decent," she said as she ran into the house.

Moments later she was back out dressed in blue jeans and a baggy grey shirt.

She got in the car and drove to the hospital.

Sam, Trish, and Dean were also in the car. "God damn it Sam," Jane said, "make sure he doesn't go into shock or something," she added.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Dean heard Jane and Sam arguing.

"Really this is my fault? Cas didn't have to act like that and _you're _the one who fucked Dean," Sam yelled.

"I never fucked him," Jane yelled.

"Well you were pretty damn close," Sam practically screamed.

"And, you didn't have to go with your big mouth and tell Cas," Jane yelled.

"Well it was the right thing to do, he deserves to know!" Sam said.

"Not like that,"

"Better sooner than later," Sam spat.

"Please," Dean was barely able to mumble, "Stop," he said.

Jane rushed to his side. "Dean are you ok?"

Dean nodded.

"Move," Sam said to Jane.

Jane glared at him.

"He's my fucking brother," Sam spat.

Jane moved.

"I hope you have fun moving back with your dad," Jane said as she left the room.

Sam sat next to Dean. "Sam, I don't want to go back," Dean mumbled.

Sam nodded, "Dean I'm sorry," Sam whispered.

"I want Cas," Dean said.

Sam looked up, "You do?"

Dean nodded.

Sam grabbed his phone and dialed the number.

"What?" Cas sapt.

"Dean want's to talk to you," Sam said.

"No," Cas said about to hang up the phone.

"Wait, please Cas, he's in the hospital," Sam begged.

"Why?" he mumbled.

"You know why," Sam said.

It was true Cas did know. Dean's insanity made him like this.

"Fine," Cas said as he hung up.

Cas was there about ten minutes later.

"Cas," Dean said holding out his hand hoping Cas would take it.

Cas glared at him, "What do you fucking want?" Cas asked.

"I'm sorry," Dean said.

"Well you're not forgiven," Cas said.

Dean frowned, "Cas please," he begged.

Cas glared at him again.

"No," he said walking towards the door.

"Wait," Dean said.

Cas stopped walking but still faced the door.

"I love you," Dean said.

Cas rolled his eyes and muttered, "This was a waste of gas money." Cas walked out.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Dean sat in his usal spot at the asylum.

"Here," Jane said handing him his pills.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

Jane smiled, "It's not me you should be saying sorry to," Jane said placing a hand on Dean's thigh.

He brushed it off and brought his knees up to his chest.

"I already tried," he mumbled looking out the window.

"Dean he has to forgive you sometime," Jane said.

"Can I please be alone?" Dean asked.

Jane nodded.

Dean walked back to his little room. He closed the door and sat on his stiff bed.

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Cas looked down at the grave. He was crying. "Damn it Dean," he said wiping away some tears.

Dean had committed suicide a couple of days ago. He had broken off a peice of his metal bed and figured out a way to use it. He cut both of his wrists. He cut deep and let himself bleed out.

When the plice arrived they found Dean lying on the ground in a pool of blood. He had the blade in one hand and a note in the other. The note had some blood on it but it was readable. Cas pulled it out of his pocket and read it.

_Please give this to Castiel Novak._

_Cas, I am truely sorry, I commited suicude as the police probably told you. I'll always be watching over you. Please take care of Sammy and don't take him back to my dads. I love you Cas. -Dean_

Cas frowned. He wished he would have forgiven Dean.

He hit his head against the grave and let out more tears.

**Ok people so sorry I uploaded it all in one thing and not seperate chapters. I was going to but fanfiction wasn't working properly so ya. Well anyways there is a lesson here and I would like you guys to try to figure it out. I can't belive I just said that. Well anyways ya and I might add a second one but if I do I have NO idea how that will work out. C' ya.**


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